Well, I have to say that coming into this I certainly didn't expect the sort of piece of writing that I ended up reading. Congratulations on having found someone who helped you get out of that mindset and get out of that space. I had the good luck to be raised by an alcoholic single mother and my aunt who instilled in a lot of positive values.. this isn't to say that I haven't been problematic or a piece of s*** in the past but I do feel like because of them I did have a head start on a lot of people. I also feel like it was easier when I was younger. Because I'm probably older than you. I came up in the '90s a lot of this s*** didn't exist back then. The alpha beta spy cuck dynamic did not exist when I was in high school. Because I had been raised by women, most of my friends were women. Because I had been abused by a string of men. I didn't trust them.
It's proven that the best way to get people to come together and change a ways of thinking is exactly what you describe here, of course in psychology they have to call it exposure therapy or something like it. There's a different name for it in sociology I know that. I just fear that it we are reaching a tipping point in masculinity in the United States which is where I live past which it will be hard to turn around.
It's already hard enough considering the culture of violence, the gun culture, the increasing class divide, And a surplus of young men who have been told for years and years that they are the problem. Telling someone that they're the problem without giving them real solutions or guidance really is not a good playbook to go by. It creates the sort of alienation that leads to some of the Dynamics that you admit to formerly espousing.
As a weapons handler, I find our culture of guns to be incredibly disturbing. Because they have worked so hard to rap gun culture and violence up in the ideas of performative masculinity that it boggles my mind. Where I come from a gun is a tool. A single use tool. It is a piece of metal and polymer and it is completely inert until you decide to do something with it. It is also something that should be treated with the due respect that a tool of that nature deserves. This is why I hate the tacticool aesthetic that so many young men are buying into. I see pictures of guys out in the woods pretending to be soldiers they got on second hand plate carriers. Most likely not loaded with something that could stop a 7.62 because class 3 plate is regulated, or they use the law-abiding citizen argument. The entire point of the second amendment if you read it is to not be a law-abiding citizen so from a an ideological standpoint that rankles me. But I see pictures of them all done up like they're ready for the next civil war and they may as well be dressed up like fancy toy soldiers holding garden rakes.
As for literature, that's been going on forever. The whole lit bro thing is real. I'm glad that you made your way out of that trap as well. In the end, it'll make you a much, much better author and a much more well-read reader.
Thank you this early and mine warning. I really enjoyed this piece.
Hey Emil, I really appreciate you man, taking the time to share some thoughts and to give a little bit of personal history. To be honest, you're right -- the conversation is so much more nuanced and complex than what this one post can cover, and I've had WAY more bad conversations with other men about masculinity than I have had positive ones. I think the consensus among them is that this is just too difficult of a knot to begin to untie, so it's easier to lean into the all the old bro/guns/toxic shit than to unpack it. So yeah, when you mention "tipping point," I definitely worry about the same thing.
And guns...oh man, don't even get me started! My father took me out hunting a lot as a kid. Seeing some of my friends grow up now and casually get into "guns" as a hobby, it's just really interesting to me.
Well, I have to say that coming into this I certainly didn't expect the sort of piece of writing that I ended up reading. Congratulations on having found someone who helped you get out of that mindset and get out of that space. I had the good luck to be raised by an alcoholic single mother and my aunt who instilled in a lot of positive values.. this isn't to say that I haven't been problematic or a piece of s*** in the past but I do feel like because of them I did have a head start on a lot of people. I also feel like it was easier when I was younger. Because I'm probably older than you. I came up in the '90s a lot of this s*** didn't exist back then. The alpha beta spy cuck dynamic did not exist when I was in high school. Because I had been raised by women, most of my friends were women. Because I had been abused by a string of men. I didn't trust them.
It's proven that the best way to get people to come together and change a ways of thinking is exactly what you describe here, of course in psychology they have to call it exposure therapy or something like it. There's a different name for it in sociology I know that. I just fear that it we are reaching a tipping point in masculinity in the United States which is where I live past which it will be hard to turn around.
It's already hard enough considering the culture of violence, the gun culture, the increasing class divide, And a surplus of young men who have been told for years and years that they are the problem. Telling someone that they're the problem without giving them real solutions or guidance really is not a good playbook to go by. It creates the sort of alienation that leads to some of the Dynamics that you admit to formerly espousing.
As a weapons handler, I find our culture of guns to be incredibly disturbing. Because they have worked so hard to rap gun culture and violence up in the ideas of performative masculinity that it boggles my mind. Where I come from a gun is a tool. A single use tool. It is a piece of metal and polymer and it is completely inert until you decide to do something with it. It is also something that should be treated with the due respect that a tool of that nature deserves. This is why I hate the tacticool aesthetic that so many young men are buying into. I see pictures of guys out in the woods pretending to be soldiers they got on second hand plate carriers. Most likely not loaded with something that could stop a 7.62 because class 3 plate is regulated, or they use the law-abiding citizen argument. The entire point of the second amendment if you read it is to not be a law-abiding citizen so from a an ideological standpoint that rankles me. But I see pictures of them all done up like they're ready for the next civil war and they may as well be dressed up like fancy toy soldiers holding garden rakes.
As for literature, that's been going on forever. The whole lit bro thing is real. I'm glad that you made your way out of that trap as well. In the end, it'll make you a much, much better author and a much more well-read reader.
Thank you this early and mine warning. I really enjoyed this piece.
Hey Emil, I really appreciate you man, taking the time to share some thoughts and to give a little bit of personal history. To be honest, you're right -- the conversation is so much more nuanced and complex than what this one post can cover, and I've had WAY more bad conversations with other men about masculinity than I have had positive ones. I think the consensus among them is that this is just too difficult of a knot to begin to untie, so it's easier to lean into the all the old bro/guns/toxic shit than to unpack it. So yeah, when you mention "tipping point," I definitely worry about the same thing.
And guns...oh man, don't even get me started! My father took me out hunting a lot as a kid. Seeing some of my friends grow up now and casually get into "guns" as a hobby, it's just really interesting to me.
Appreciate you Emil!